Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
