mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
