When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
