i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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