pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize