It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize