Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
