honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's rum buckets o'clock
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize