What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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