sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
