spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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