we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize