all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
