She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
