Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
