Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It was confusing and full of hummus
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
