What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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