Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
