So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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