It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
