gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
