Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
