I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
