Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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