As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
