Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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