I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
