Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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