dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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