we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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