oh god the rape fog is back!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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