your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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