I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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