He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't deserve a penis
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
