Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
