I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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