I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
