I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
