Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
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