he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
