I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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