Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
