I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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