yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Too much gin, very little bucket
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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