I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize