im about as happy as oj after his trial
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
