My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
