it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
