based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize