Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Randomize
