Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
