AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
