how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
