Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize