scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Every concussion has its silver lining
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
