If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
