She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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