do herpes really smell.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
