i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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