First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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