Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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