walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
3pm strippers are depressing
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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