Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
