Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
