I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
