ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
