drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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