can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
